Fighting For Your Life!

FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE

By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

For many years I have worked with people who are fighting for their lives. Some of them focus their effort on improving the quality of their lives. Some are hurting so much, they just want to be free of mental, emotional and physical pain. Many have had physical
illnesses. Some have "terminal" diseases. All are in some kind of pain, and want to improve the quality of their lives.

Over the last 30 years, I have identified many activities that help people fight for their lives. Regardless of the nature of your illness, disease, pain, difficulty, or desired goal, if you are going to fight for your life, there are some basic dynamics you need to know about and develop. Here are some of the most important ones.

1 . You have to believe you and your life is worth fighting for. Most physicians addressing major illnesses know that if patients believe they will die from their disease, they are prob-ably right and cannot be saved. That is not to say that belief in the worth of your life necessarily will save you from a life-threatening illness.
But if you don't think you are worth fighting for, your body responds accordingly and no doctor can save you. Believe you are worth fighting for or don't waste your time and energy trying to improve your life. The very least you can do for yourself is believe your life is worth the fight.

2. Make an absolute commitment to becoming maximally well and experiencing life as delightful. What will be required of you to find joy in life, may not be convenient nor easy. Certainly, it will not fit with your current life-style or way of functioning. Your way of functioning, regardless of whether or not you were aware of it, is what has led to your present situation. So you will not be "used to' whatever approach you take to becoming better or maximally well. Decide to change your life, and commit yourself to that change.

3. Generate a strong, burning desire to live and live as fully and as well as you possibly can. This may be your most difficult psychological task. Some "old habits," whether they be physical, mental, emotional, psychological or behavioral habits, must be modified or replaced. And developing new ways of functioning is
always more difficult (requires more energy) than to fall back on old ways. The energy to sustain your practicing new ways of behaving, new ways of using your emotions, new ways of viewing yourself and the world, new ways of relating to others, new ways of thinking, new beliefs...all that energy has to come from your desire to live and live joyfully and well. Anything less simply will not keep you changing and healing toward wellness...will not keep you fighting for your life.

4. Make up your mind that you will do everything in your power to be maximally well. No exceptions. Nothing halfway. Nothing for the sake of ease or convenience. You cannot make up your mind to
heal from cancer and still smoke cigarettes. You cannot make up your mind to handle your stress and continue to abuse alcohol. You cannot make up your mind to be well and continue to engage in any kind of behavior that is self-destructive or self-defeating. You cannot decide to be fit and never exercise. You cannot make up
your mind to heal a broken relationship and still behave like you have up to now. Once you genuinely commit yourself to do absolutely everything your power to be joyfully well, all kinds of positive events occur in support of that decision.

5. Finally, realize that no matter how strong you think you are, without a good support system, you will fail in your effort to change toward wellness and living fully. We are human creatures. And human creatures are social creatures. We need contact with other human beings. In order to be fully well, we need others to
touch and nurture our lives. A support system may consist of family friends, teachers, doctors, coaches, co-workers, therapists of all kinds, support groups and organizations, lovers, even helpful strangers. Increase the amount of contact you have with your support
system. Open yourself up to them. Allow them to touch your life with their caring, nurturing and love. Call each other. Hug each other. Share thoughts and feelings with each other. Care about each other. Teach each other. Make human contact with one another. Give of yourself to others.

If you fight for your life in just these five ways, you will
certainly grow and change toward a fully enjoyable and deeply satisfying life. You will also increase the probability of creating physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness. Not only that, you will also profoundly impact the lives of those around you in extremely positive and vital ways.

It's your life...LIVE IT!